Eyes of a Broken Girl
by Lilie Dawson
Summary: When you love him and you know he doesn't love you back. When your parents force you to marry him. When everything becomes too much for you. What do you do? Run.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: CLAMP owns Cardcaptor Sakura… not me…

**Eyes of a Broken Girl  
**_**Prologue**_

I stood there by the altar wearing the most beautiful gown I could ever imagine, standing next to the man I've always dreamt of marrying. Behind us, everybody watched. My parents. His parents. My brother. His sisters. Our relatives and friends. And anybody who's somebody was there. Around us, cameras flashed and videocams taped the affair. In front was the priest who was to marry us. This was it. I was finally going to be somebody's wife – his wife to be exact.

And then the priest started "Do you, Li Xiao Lang, take Kinomoto Sakura as your lawfully-wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to remain loyal to, to care for and be devoted to for the rest of your life, through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, till death do you part?"

I watched him through my veil as a smug smile graced his handsome face, his eyes of amber glued onto the priest, not daring to look at me. "I do," he said almost immediately. My heart broke. He didn't even spare me a look. I bit my lip. Weren't grooms supposed to look at you with their eyes filled with unadulterated love and devotion? My eyes began to well with tears. Thank heavens for waterproof mascara. I felt my hand that was in his start to tremble. He didn't notice. I was already non-existent to him before we even got married.

The priest turns to me. "Do you, Kinomoto Sakura, take Li Xiao Lang as your lawfully-wedded husband, to love and to cherish, to remain loyal to, to care for and be devoted to for the rest of your life, through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, till death do you part?"

I gulped. Then I finally became aware of the tears that were falling, sliding to my blush-tinted cheeks. I held back and began to think it all over again. Should I marry him? I turned to look at the man beside me. He looked annoyed. Curtly, he jerked his head as if saying '_Go ahead, say it. You know you wanted this.'_ I began thinking: do I really want to be married to him for the sake of it? Do I really want to marry the man I've been crushing on for years knowing his heart shall never be mine? Would I be able to take everything that might happen should I marry him? His indifference? His infidelities? His ignorance of me?

'_No.'_

Calmly, I withdrew my hand from his. "I can't."

Around me, gasps flew and whispers spread.

My mother stood up in rage, demanding an explanation. I turned to her, apologizing, tears streaming down my face. Then, I turned to his parents, who were just as shock. "I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Li… but I can't marry your son." And I ran off… out of the church.

I hailed a taxi and ordered the driver to take me home. Upon reaching the estate, I told the butler, Rui, who was more than surprised to see me back home, in my wedding gown, and crying, to pay the driver. Without hearing what he would've answered me, I removed the expensive Versace platform sandals, went up to my room, locked myself up, and cried.

As expected, my parents – plus my brother, him who I left in the altar, and his family – came and ordered me to come out. But there was no way I would face them. Not now. Not when I'm a broken person who can't think straight. When I'm emotionally chaotic.

That's why I decided to escape. Escape from a loveless marriage betrothal I know would end up in disaster and divorce. Escape from a family who didn't care how you feel. Escape from people who claim to be your friends and abandon you when you needed them most. And escape the man who would never love me the way I deserve to be loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to:  
Purplemonster27****  
****Twilight Kisses  
LOVE ANGEL  
Ksolitaire  
HappyBlossom  
ffgirl-07**

**Eyes of a Broken Girl  
**_**Chapter 1**_

I slowly opened the door to my room. Darkness and silence greeted me. Mentally, I sighed with relief, carrying with me a wish that everybody was already fast asleep. It was already thirty minutes past one in the morning. And if I knew my family the way I think I know them, they'd all be asleep by now. With great care, not daring to make a sound, I left the solace of my room, a duffel bag slung onto my shoulder and a suitcase in my hand. I was leaving.

My face contorted into a grimace as the door let out a squeak as I closed it shut and I froze for any signs of any person. None. With a mix of speed and great caution, I made my way downstairs, descending the marble staircase, eager to leave everything that came with being Kinomoto Sakura.

"Leaving?" a voice came out of nowhere.

I froze at the spot before turning to face whoever it was who caught me.

_Him._

He was a good five meters away from me, dressed in white tank top and pajamas, his uncombed brown hair appearing black from the inadequate light, eyes of golden brown prying me like he usually does. Normally, I would've turned humiliatingly red. But everything was different now. I exhaled sharply, gave him a forced smile, and turned to leave.

"You couldn't just walk out like that… after what you did," he told me, the volume of his voicing raising.

I faced him once again. "Shouldn't you be thanking me for giving your freedom back?" I taunted him.

His face turned stony. "Should I be touched that you were thinking of my freedom when you left me in the altar?"

I matched the hardness of his stare with mine and shook my head. "No. Why would I be thinking about it when I know your freedom is omnipresent? It's not like your little Anna Chien's gonna be away from her Xiao Lang even after we got married."

His glare overwhelmed the shock on his face and turned colder. "How do you know about Anna?"

"I didn't spy on you or anything so keep those kind of thoughts to yourself," I preempted him. "Your girlfriend was broadcasting it to the whole world during our engagement party."

That shut him up.

I chuckled, mocking him. "Got anything to say, _dear_?"

"Y-you can't… W-would you…" he stammered. Then, he sighed. "You won't even stay for me?"

The expression on my face turned sour and my blood boiled. "For _you?_ Who _are _you?" I hissed.

He shrugged. "Last time I checked, I was your Dream Guy."

"Exactly."

He looked at me, pools of amber filled with surprise.

I smirked. "_Was._"

I spun on my heels and darted out before he even had time to answer back. The less time I spend with him, the better chance of me getting over him.

I couldn't remember a time when I ran so fast from our front door to the gates of my family estate. Maybe because I never did run. I had no reason to. But the second I stepped out of the large mahogany door, I broke out into a run. And the next thing I remembered was getting into a cab.

"Where to, Miss?" the cabbie asked me.

I thought for a moment. "The nearest ATM please."

If I were going to escape, I should be prepared. And knowing my parents, they'd freeze my bank accounts the minute the sun rises, the moment they find out of my little adventure. And so I withdrew every cent there was in my bank account. It's better to be ready for anything.

I spent the remainder of the night in a motel across the ATM. It was so unlike the lavish room I grew up in our mansion. But what choice do I have? Suddenly, Li Xiao Lang appeared in my mind from thin air. That was when the pain realized itself in my heart. So it was true. He did have a relationship with Anna Chien.

I heard a sob. It grew louder and louder. That was when I realized it was I who was crying. I curled up in bed and cried my heart and eyes out. I hate him. I really hate Li Xiao Lang. Hate that I love him. I groaned, turning to lie on my back, and began to wipe the tears away. '_Hate that I love him.' _The thought lingered in my mind for a minute.

"Crap," I said to no one in particular. "No wonder I hate that song." (AN: _Hate That I Love You by Rihanna and Ne-Yo)_

I turned to look at the alarm clock on my bedside table. Three o'clock in the morning.

_Unholy hour._ Suddenly, Li Xiao Chien and Anna Lang, or whatever the names of those people are, vanished as the hairs my skin stood on their ends. Below, the dogs began to howl. For some reasons, the room temperature dropped and I shivered. Or maybe it was just me. With a small squeak, I pulled the bed covers to my head and cursed Touya for forcing me to watch _Exorcism of Emily Rose_ two nights ago.

And so I drifted to sleep.

* * *

I sat quietly by myself (not that I had any companions) in the train, watching whatever there was to see through the window. Though I barely had two hours of sleep, I promised not to fall asleep to safeguard my belongings. Taking a break from the 'scenery', I turned to look at the people around me. I figured most of the people were employees on their way to work. Some were students. Some… well… I don't know. But I didn't get on the train to figure out what these people were doing. I turned to my right. It was then that I noticed a couple staring at me. I blinked. Okay, they were definitely looking at me.

Paranoia sets in and I began to think that these two were hired by my family to find me. And now they just did. I broke eye contact with the pair and gathered my shoulder-length auburn locks to the sides of my face, in an attempt to conceal my identity, and pulled down the cap I was wearing. I inhaled and exhaled repeatedly, telling myself to calm down and it's just me being paranoid.

The train stops and most of the people, about two-thirds, got out. About a dozen entered. I glanced at the pair sideways and saw that they were looking at me. Still. But now it seems that the girl, someone about my age, with long dark chestnut hair held at the sides of her head in braided pigtails, was nudging her partner to do something. Just when I think they were about to look at me, I turned my head to the opposite side. Until I felt someone tapping my shoulder lightly.

I turned to face the girl who was supposedly spying on me.

"Hi!" she greeted.

I stared at her, deadpan.

"You probably don't know me," she began. I nodded, deadpan. "But I was just wondering. It seems you're all by your lonesome." I raised my eyebrows, fighting the urge to say '_Obviously'_. "I just… Um… I was wondering if you'd like some company coz it seems to me you're pretty lonely," she grinned nervously.

My eyes widened. She dared approach me, wondering if I needed company? Interesting. I shifted my gaze to the black-haired man the girl was with. He gave me a weak, unsure smile.

"I'm Mihara Chiharu, by the way," she introduced herself. "And that's my boyfriend, Yamazaki Takashi," pointing to the guy, who raised an arm.

I looked at the girl and the guy back and forth. "How much did my parents pay you?" I asked in a low voice.

Chiharu looked genuinely shocked. "E-excuse me?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, my suspicions heightening and wavering at the same time. "Do you know who I am?"

Chiharu's jaw dropped. "Was I supposed to know who you are?"

"Stop playing games," I told her firmly.

For a moment, she just stared at me. "I-I'll be going back to my seat," she stammered before retreating. She had only taken a few steps before turning to me and bowed. "I'm sorry for disturbing you."

I felt guilty. Maybe she really was only trying to be my friend. I look like someone who really needed one after all. The train stopped and Chiharu and Takashi got up as well, not sparing me a glance as they stepped out of the train.

Swallowing all my pride, I got up, gathered my bags, and ran after them.

"Matte!"

For a moment, I thought they were going to ignore me. Like all the other people did in my past. But to my relief and half-surprise, they turned around.

"Yes?" Chiharu asked, as if nothing happened.

Panting, I breathed out "I'm sorry… for being rude… Gomen." I bowed.

Chiharu smiled. "It's okay. It was partly my fault, too."

I gave them a weak, but sincere smile. I bowed again and turned to get into the train. That was when the train took off. Without me. I stood helplessly as I watched the rest of the shinkansen disappear from my vision.

"Oh no… I… I'm sorry… I…" I heard the girl Chiharu begin to apologize. Why? I don't even know.

I shook my head and sighed. "It's okay." I faced them. "Where am I, anyway?"

"Tomoeda," Takashi answered, letting me hear his voice for the first time.

I nodded as my mouth took the form of an 'o'.

"Um… if it's any bother," I began. "Do you… happen to know a place I could crash in for a while?"

The couple smiled and Chiharu nodded. "Sure."

I returned the smile and followed their suit. It wasn't what I planned but now… I don't have time for regrets. There was no way I'll be thinking of going back to where I started. And it's because of this nagging feeling that it was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

* * *

**This is still SxS. Syaoran's going to appear again that's for sure. I can't imagine letting Sakura end up with another guy. On the second thought, I can but I don't like it, you don't like it… You get the point. Plus, this story is a bit Sakura-centric. **

**Tomoyo of course will appear. What do I do without her?**

**Hope you liked it! :))**


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